Often I would hold in the pain others have inflicted on me, in hopes it won’t hurt them. That is not love. The spoils kept them from feeling the realness of their mistakes and in turn kept breaking me. I know now, what is love. Letting go and serving those with the realest truth, I’ve felt in my most vulnerable youth, once I had gained the strength to give it. Forgiveness is not always that gentle rush but it’s the painful process of redemption to your better self, that is where true forgiveness remains. False paths to forgiveness in steeples while those people you’ve hurt remain crippled, and gods laugh at us from our incomplete remains. Life hurts the worse when you allow life’s disipline to curse the evil you’ve embedded inside, yet the more you hide the more you steal the life you are meant to live. Pain in due process, forgiveness is not easy and it’s definitely not for the lazy, like in life you have to be good in order to gain anything.